Monday, July 10, 2006

I need to get right with God and stop being nasty

Today I went with my parents and sister to Dennys. I had sirloin steak, green beans, rice pilaf, and a side salad, and an iced tea. Later I took Michelle and my mom to Petsmart and Turbokitty finally got a new collar, his was getting way too small. He's a big boy now. He also got a cute little mat to put his food and water dishes on. He's such a spoiled little kitty friend.

Later we went to Borders Express @ Southland and my mom got me a copy of The Message//Remix by Eugene H Peterson. It's supposed to be really good, and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things by reading the Bible more often. I am so straying away from God and it's not even funny. Especially over the last year or so. I don't have time to go to church like I should, but I should at least try to get right with God. This is a first step.

I've done so many bad things, like the whole fornication thing. Also, I do cuss like a sailor and so does everyone I know, well almost everyone. I think the whole sex thing is probably the worst. Besides my very liberal thoughts on homosexuality and all that.

See, I see myself as a stuck in the middle Christian. All the hardcore Christians I know seem like aliens to me. Seriously. Not to put any of you down. I just don't feel I belong with them. I'm like way too human. It's like they're faultless. I know everyone is sinner, everyone is. But sometimes it's like "Whoa man, these Christian folks have such great willpower, and are so nice, it's scary!"

I'm not nearly as bad a person as lots of folks I know. Only God can really judge me on that anyway, but many of my friends have a lot more drug/alchohol use, promiscuity, and horrific language just in their day to day lives.

I have a great relationship with my parents, I'm pretty much abstinent for the time being. I try not to talk smack about others. BUT..... I have sex on the brain a lot.. I've had sex on my mind since I hit puberty at age 12.. LOL. How can I just stop thinking about sex? I'm not like a sex addict. I don't have sex 24-7. I just think about it at least once a day. I can be nice, I can read my Bible, memorize verses, quit cussin, stop drinking... but giving up my nasty thoughts.. oh man... How do I give up these thoughts?? Any suggestions??