i just keep on smiling

• Hey mom it's me again. The last few days have been pretty okay. Monday I didn't do a whole lot. Just made dinner, watched lots of TV, came to work. After work on Tuesday morning Michelle and I went walking to the duck pond near my house. Sorry I never got to show you where it is. After that we took Happy to the vet to get his nails clipped and pick up some more ointment for his back. I made an appointment for Spencer to get his other shots for next week. Tuesday afternoon my boss at KDFC called and asked if I could run the board for the symphony, and of course I said yes. You know how much I work, I'm insane. So I worked in San Francisco from 7-11pm, then came back to work here in Oakland. I gave Victoria a ride home and here I am now. We're having satellite problems today so it's a little interesting. After work this morning I'm going walking with Michelle again, then it's grocery day. We're dragging Dad with us to Walmart and Luckys as usual. It'll be fun. Speaking of fun my dentist keeps calling for me to make an appointment to get more fillings done. Ugh. It just never ends, as you know. That's why I don't have time for relationships. Working + helping out the family + stuff I have to get done just takes up my time. I never sit at home feeling lonely or sad because I don't have a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend someday since I want to settle down and have kids. All most guys want is sex. I don't want to have sex until I'm married or practically there. Therefore I tend to avoid relationships since I know what most guys are after. It's like I want a relationship (since I want kids hella bad), but most guys don't want to settle down. So confusing. When you were my age you had been married for 9 years. Back in your day people actually did this thing called dating, then married and had sex. Nowadays its like everyone's doing it in middle school, practically. Sex everywhere. It's absolutely awful.
  
• Well Mom I think about you day and night. I have a few friends who are concerned about me since I keep lots of my feelings bottled up inside. I've always been that way. You were that way too. Even on your worst day you always had a great smile and something funny to say. I've always done exactly the same thing. My friend Tricia said something to me at your viewing.. "Whenever I see you, you're always smiling no matter what." That was an awesome compliment, since I know you were always that way too, Mom. I'm going to try and keep living your legacy every single day for the rest of my life. :)