catching you all up to date...

As you all have noticed I haven't blogged in weeks. Well, in case you aren't reading this on my Myspace page, my mom passed away on December 21st. Complications from kidney failure that triggered heart failure. Oh and yeah she had terminal cancer on top of it so the doctors didn't want to treat her kidney failure and give her dialysis. What really matters right now is that she's not suffering anymore. No more medication, no more doctors lacking bedside manner. Where she is, she can walk again. She can eat what she wants. She's with her parents and brother. So I'm happy for my mom, but I'm so sad at the same time. I'm so selfish, and I just wish she was back here with me. Leaving me voicemails that I wish I would have saved, making faces at my camera, telling dirty jokes to TJ, just random things we take for granted. I'm so blessed that God gave me an awesome mom for 27 years. She taught me so much about life and how to live it to the fullest. Now I just hope my mom's looking down on me from heaven and that she's proud of me.

My Christmas was okay, I survived it. It was pretty emotional since Mom had bought several presents for us months before she died. My dad did a lot of crying. I got lots of things that I wanted. The one thing I did want wasn't there, and that was my mom. I did have fun with the rest of my family and friends though. They made life so much more bearable. Oh yeah did I mention I had like a week and a half off from work because of everything that happened? First time I had Christmas off in like 10 years. Not the circumstances I wanted, but still it was cool in a way. I'll post pics of stuff that I got later on in this monster blog.

>Mom's viewing was last Saturday and it was weird. Weird just seeing her laying there, looking like she was sleeping. Lots of people came, like over a hundred. I spent lots of time introducing people to other people. Folks from work came, many close friends, old school teachers who worked with mom, and plenty of relatives. It was awkward introducing friends to my 3rd, 4th/5th, and 6th grade teachers. Also awkward being hugged/kissed by many friends and relatives that I usually don't get cozy with. I have a few eccentric family members, but I wouldn't trade em for the world. Who else wants to hear about vomiting and other bodily functions during a viewing? Makes life interesting, I'll tell ya. Some of you may think it's odd for me to blog about something as personal as my mom's viewing. If you've ever had someone close to you die, then maybe you can relate to it. Maybe you can't. Someday you will. Believe me.

Life is getting back to normal, my blogs will probably become a lot more ordinary and boring. I think I'll start addressing my blogs to my mom herself, as a weird form of therapy I guess. This may weird some of you out, and I'm sorry. I need to express myself somehow. Oh yes here are the pics I promised.


This is 80stastic Kimmie outside of Longs. LOL


Brad is interesting.


Cathy, Dad and Spencer on Christmas.


A nice big weiner and cheese that Mom had picked out for me from Hickory Farms months before she passed. Thanks Mom! *pointing to heaven*


Tea from Starbucks that Mom had picked out and someone's *cough Cathy cough* Jack Daniels.


This cup was supposed to be for my mom. Now I use it.


Sandi sent these flowers.. thank you girl they are beautiful.


Peppermint scented candle I got.. it smells PURTY..


Michelle gave me this t-shirt.


Part of my tree, I think Santa and the kitties are cute.


Yummy!


Best show ever, dude.


Another one of the best shows.. well crime shows.


These presents were for my mom. Now they're just in a bag in the back of my closet.

I realized that I forgot to take pics of some stuff, so I may post most Xmas stuff I got later on. My bad.. especially Noelle.. oopsies.

Oh yes and I can't express how much all of your kind words and thoughts have helped me the last few weeks. Whether here on Myspace, or texting me, calling me (I'm sorry Dusty dear I need to call you back I'm a weiner), hanging out, or coming to Mom's viewing. Just showing you care is the best thing to do. And you all do it well. I have the best support network imaginable. I love all you guys oh so much.